That Stupid Wait

So wat after this?
Nothing u know..'nothing'
We willingly/unwilling accept all of it always
and blame whom?the administrators?d law makers or d breakers?
May be i havent been so disturbed,upset,roused
to such n extent on a national issue for long.
but that day there was a strange feeling?
not sure was dat good or bad?
was hurt dunno for what?
was intimidated dunno for wat?
can anything at all be done?
can any1 really do something to make things better?

I used to often stare in admiration at d big adds in the Telegraph :
"Incredible India" by the Department of tourism,Govt. of India
Lovely pictures actually u know!
But then now, Is it all really incredible?
Is It?...who makes it so?
or who makes it otherwise?
It so much reminds me of Khalid Hosseini's Kite Runner
that one aspect when Amir returns
to his country after almost 3decades;
He is so unable to confront the ruined state of her,
the dilapidation,hopelessness,those signs of past glory,
But in spite of all these feelings
He does nt want to go back thr ever.

..then what is d use of such a kind of love or nostalgia?
where does it get us finally?
sanity?
practicality?
or something that we call democracy? secularism?
we have been long waiting n waiting,
Just waiting for some radical change.
But who is it that we are looking upto?
waiting doesn't bring back anybody,
waiting doesn't start a revolution,
It never did.

Everything Changes.

1945

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2008

Half-a-Life Ago...

Trying to clench her fist
to ascertain the strength
that isn't there perhaps.
The keyring within,
paving the path along the fortune lines of the palm
for blood to stream out.

Loosing sanity for not that couldn't be achieved.
but for one dat is lost.
'cause one underachieved was undeserved.
but one lost is failure.

That blood entangles the wrists and elbow;
Touches the chalice she was holding
mixing its strange aroma with the vodka
going down the system.
Dinno which tastes better??
(Actually Vodka tastes like spirit or her nail-polish remover.. n d aroma(!!)well u can't tell when ur drunk)

The limbs take time to freeze as the senses go numb,
"Oh death tread softly! My heart needs to sleep!"
Wished the slumber came sooner;
Pains could have succumbed into it then.

Not happy but contented.
You seem to have found a cause that she couldn't be.
Entwined among civil conflicts of the perplexed mind
decisions were never joyful but just a logical compromise.

the drink over to the last drop;
Life wringing itself out of its own shackles.

"See those seagulls?
they herald a question.
Who are you?
actually - who have you been all this while??
See the Waves basking on the shore?
Half erasing the past.
Keeping me half alive & just letting go
Half a life."

Come Again Another Day.

"Rain rain go away,
Come again another day."

So when was that?
Long Back...
The chalice filled to d brim,
Steaming coffee and not much to think of.

A day when i despised one getting wet in d rain in some public place;

And another day when i begin the game,
In spite of being victim to headaches,
sprinkling those drops on everybody around,
Even on ones not my friends but classmates.
Wasn't even aware the one i was fooling around with at an instant
was a friend or just a classmate.

My professor catches a glimpse of us,
Dancing in the rain...literally.
He smiles at our stupidity.
Must have thought of us as overgrown kids.Haha!!

Perhaps it has been YEARS.

Mostly it had been days of watching them from my window sill.
The Coffee and the thoughts and the rain.
Ah!! lovely threesome!
But that day was a different "me" to my surprise.
But yeah..that was good!being crazy was good.

Rain rain,
Do come again another day.

'You were awesome Mr.RAIN' :D

The cave, time and the footprints.

tracing those footprints,
leading her to a murky cavern,

She stops a moment before entering in there,
then she finally does.

walk a long long way;
just by making assumptions to where
she was being led by her instincts and her footsteps.

She could no longer see those footprints
though she could hear the thudding of those unseen feet.

That girl of 19 or 20.
looking at something.
something or nothing perhaps.
wearing a muslin shirt and a white skirt to her knees.
the end of which flew windward;
scattering her hair all over her face.

She was thinking of
people,places and time.

with neither a smile nor pain
on her face;
but just contemplations and reflections within those doe eyes.

Its windy.Time.
Its raining then.Time.
and then she has nothing to regret or be sad about.

she's grown old.too old.
crossed that cave,reached the other end.

there have been so many people.
so many incidences.
but above all there has been TIME.

Footprints of Time.

aaro ekdin...

Shei ekdin maidan e giye boshe thaka,oi victorial memorial er shamne.
aami jete paari ni...
"chol na r ekdin...bhishon icche korcche

khub bhalo laage oi raasta ta...
fanka rasta shonddhe belai,
r shei duur e,ekta gaach r victoria memorial er faanke shurjo osto jawa.
khub bhalo laage janish.
okhane chup kore boshe thakte iccha kore, ektao kotha na bole.
shamner raasta diye hott kore ekta gaari druto goti te chole jai jokhn..hott kore shei dheer stheer chinta gulo bhenge jai gaaritar awaje
ja bhabcchilam ek muhurter jonno bhule jawa tokhon.

etai chai janish..bhule jawa..onek kicchu
chol na r ekdin..."

Relishing Coldness

The eyelids fall,
the wind blew as the hell hugged my dreams,
every othr thing but u, moves into a mesmerizing trance,
breathe paused n d blood frozen....,
the pain succumbs to the thrill of nothingness in life...

Time that nevr was,
time that nevr will be,
yet i be wat i am..
in darkness ,in brightness,
i m eternal ...i m the eternity,of the unkwn...
yet i be wat i am..in darkness,in brightness.

That dark room,
That poet sitting beyond the horizon of a dark unsettled dawn,
Those shadowy eves and those images in the mind...
The cacophony of your thoughts perplexed my soul!!
I could let u go,
I couldn't let my soul go...

...but i am too sarcastic and frozen now.
I need to rest.

In Asmita's words ... "Onubhutir jaega nei Obhimaan...
tobu aborton obiroto
cholte thake choltei thake...
...obhimaaner jaega nei klanti..."
http://mon-arshi.blogspot.com/2008/07/ses-hoy.html